6 Reasons to Focus on the Marriage Instead of the Wedding
Any couple that gets married will have plenty of challenges ahead of them. This is why it’s important to stay connected and communicate through the difficult times like aging parents, finances, kids, cross-country moves and illness.
Often, couples will talk only about wedding plans and neglect their relationship. This is a big mistake!
1. It’s a Celebration
Whether or not a person wants to get married is a deeply personal choice. Several factors influence a person’s decision, including pressure from family and friends and the desire to start a family.
Ultimately, a couple’s decision to marry or not should be driven by love and the desire to serve one another. But, too often, the love factor is drowned out by wedding planning.
This may seem unromantic, but marriage has very real legal elements that don’t have anything to do with delicious cakes and twirling on the dance floor. It includes things like social security benefits, tax deductions, and making medical decisions for one another.
2. It’s a Showcase
Even if you’ve been living together for years, the first year of marriage can be tough. It’s a time of adjusting to the new normal, combined finances, new roles and responsibilities.
Couples who work together on these issues before the wedding can avoid some of the bumps in the road. And getting out of your comfort zone and learning something new together, like cooking or taking a digital photography class, can strengthen the relationship over a shared experience.
3. It’s a Commitment
It’s no secret that marriage has a lot of work to do. It’s not always easy to see through the euphoria of romantic infatuation and make decisions that are best for both partners, especially over time.
In a committed relationship, both partners say yes to spending the rest of their lives together—even when things are hard. Loyalty means sticking up for one another, and putting the relationship first.
But a lot of couples think they’re in committed relationships, and don’t realize they haven’t actually made any commitment at all. And this makes it easier for Satan to attack marriages and distract believers from Jesus’ good design.
4. It’s a Time for Family
Many couples are influenced by family members to get married, but that shouldn’t be the only reason. When you focus on getting a huge wedding that everyone will see, it can take away from the actual marriage journey that comes next.
Some couples may choose to live together before getting married for personal beliefs or because they think that it is better for their children to have a stable home before they enter it. Whatever the reasoning, it is important to discuss it early and agree on a plan for your relationship going forward. Then, you can focus on your marriage and not worry about anyone else’s opinions or feelings.
5. It’s a Time for Friends
The wedding itself is a great time for friends and family, but that shouldn’t be the end of it. Marriage is much bigger than a big day and all of the fun that comes with it.
Couple friends are important for many reasons, but the main reason is that they can help support and encourage you during rocky times down the road. They can also help you learn how to communicate better, compromise, and work together as a team.
Some couples get married for social and financial reasons, and this can backfire if they do not have a solid foundation built before the wedding. The goal should be to make a lifelong commitment with a person you love, through thick and thin.
6. It’s a Time for Self-Discipline
Often, couples decide to marry for various reasons. Some may see it as a sign of commitment or to give them financial security. Others might find fulfillment in companionship, sex, or the opportunity to start a family.
However, many times love is the main motivation. It’s important to discover why you want to get married and what your long-term goals are.
Focus on a relationship built on love and the future you plan together. Rather than getting stuck on wedding details, practice self-control in your daily routine and allow the Holy Spirit to empower you in this area of your marriage. It’s a great way to prepare for the bigger day!
